Vampires need to stop making love and start making war against humans. That’s what’s cool about vampires. And we all know it. I love True Blood, but the chief protagonist vampire, Bill, hates eating humans and likes screwing them. I can relate, but, that’s not what I’m looking for from my vampires. However, there’s a Viking vampire named Eric who digs on human swine and that fulfills my thirst for real vampire shit. I haven’t seen Twilight but I hear that’s about vampires finding humanity and going out to human bars to pick up babes. Boring. At least Underworld, a wholly stupid disappointment considering it’s about an ancient war between werewolves and vampires, had a love story between vampire and werewolf. They could kill and eat humans together and then make the sweetest of loves in puddles of human blood (Theoretically. Like I said, disappointing.) I shouldn’t act like the vampire/human love dillema is a new phenomenon. After all, Bram Stoker’s Dracula was about Gary Oldman trying his damndest to steal Winona from Keanu. But he savagely destroyed puny humans in his way and seduced babes to drain their blood. He didn’t have love for humans, just foxes in committed relationships. You know, vampire shit. But what happened to the vampires of Lost Boys that partied with people on the beach and then when that was boring proceeded to rip their throats out and throw the waste into the bonfire? You know, vampire shit!
Thirst, from director Chan-Wook Park, director of the great Korean revenge movie Old Boy, explores the world of Vampire-on-Human action. It’s dark, bloody, at times funny, strongly sexually contented, and has some good murders. The cinematography is at times dazzling and haunting. It’s pretty long, felt even longer, and there were at least 3 times I was lead to believe it was about to time to stand up, and yet, it was not so. But I enjoyed it. Even the well-developed and complicated relationship between vampire and human. The trailer below will tell you the plot.