Stuck dwelling on shorter and faster days and the same ol’ me. Had so much time to experience and learn. I used college as a platform to learn about girls, drugs, music. Some how I’ve learned more about all that since college, but there’s no half-assed degree to back that all up. Someday, I’ll move on, I think. Right now, I hope. Measures have been taken. Usually in frustration and futility, some with fraternity, at least. There’s more to life than proving to myself how good of a time I can have. I really want what I do to mean something. But this day’s tossing and turning trying to develop a plan to nurture has me feeling stagnant. I might even be stagnant. Some things don’t mean what they used to, and others I forgot meant anything, even for a moment. I get sucked up in anticipation for events that fleet, or in the excitement of finding ideas that can get me up anew. A stage, an acceptance letter, my own business. And for some reason those moments are enough, like holidays coming up that require all my attention, relieving me from what my dad calls reality, but really when they’re over I’m here still the same, still stuck, sensing something missing.