Archive for the partying Category

Here I Come To Save The Day

Posted in books, cinema, comics, partying, sex with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2013 by oldmandub

I’ve always wanted to go to Comic Con – San Diego. Ever since I was a child I’ve found comics to be a thrilling and exciting medium for art, capable of achieving breakthroughs in entertainment, concept, and physically impossible gigantic  titties on the tiniest of frames. For my small prepubescent brain, comic books were as much a milestone as internet porn was for my dad.

I finally got my chance to go this year. My friends Ethan and Parker both work for Legendary Films, the company that brought us all three of the latest Batman trilogy by Christopher Nolan, and the recent summer blockbuster, Pacific Rim, a nonstop action packed high octane cliché of a movie and yet totally awesome about giant monsters from another dimension rising out of the ocean to fight giant man piloted robots. They were there to promote all the latest that is Legendary and invited me to come down to drink booze, eat oysters, all at Legendary’s expense, and, best of all, gaze lecherously at the real life comic book babes strolling about town.

Wonder Woman was a popular choice amongst the ladies. This princess of the Amazon dressed provocatively even in the 1940’s when she got her start in comics, but it’s a whole new ball game today at Comic Con with surgically enhanced real life models and awkward yet prime 16 year olds all around you. Wonder Woman is a warrior princess fighting for truth, justice, and the American way, and has been an icon for feminism for decades. Now she seems to mostly be vying for male attention against Batgirl, Daenerys, and She-Ra. The competition is fierce, the targets, stiff.

As a hetero male with a healthy sexual appetite, raised on comics, video games, cartoons, and action movies, I was in heaven. And by heaven I think I mean hell, because this absurd display of hot sexy nerd dreams confined within this tight space with me in the middle induced frustration, panic, vertigo, and agoraphobia: despite the general symptoms of anxiety I still did not want to leave the building. Ever.

“Where’s the bar?” I asked one of the Wonder Women as she strolled pass me.

“Diana of Themyscira uses no staff. Only her lasso of truth!”

“Yeah, yeah, ok, cool, but I’m looking for the bar. There has to be one around here.”

“You know not of what you speak, man pig.”

“I’ll just go ask Tony Stark, thanks.”

That’s more or less how it went in there. These cosplay girls took their characters a little too seriously. (If you don’t know what cosplay is, it’s short for costume play. It’s not specifically sexual, but, clearly, it inherently is.) The guys weren’t much better.

“Hey, Inspector Gadget, tell me where the bar is.”

“Unhand me, villian!”

God damn it.

Metallica was set to play an exclusive show Friday night at an undisclosed location. The only way to get tickets was to sit through what I imagined to be an arduous panel put on by the band where they were to discuss their new 3D live concert movie mixed with a film narrative about a young roadie out in a apocalyptic riot outside the concert called Through the Never. There was no way I was going to sit through that shit, but I still wanted to go to the concert. I thought it would enhance my experience there at Comic Con and it had to be better than bouncing around bars and parties blaring house music from every orifice. Even a virtually nude Mother of Dragons couldn’t save me from the churning redundant beat of techno.

After a futile and exhausting search through downtown San Diego to find tickets I went back to our hotel bar to get a bunch of drinks and food at Legendary’s expense. While waiting for my food an older lady and her crew approached me.

“A boy like you shouldn’t look so sad at Comic Con. What’s the matter?”

“Aw, nothing. I just wanted to go see Metallica.”

“If I could get you Metallica tickets would that make you feel better?”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Give me a minute.”

This lady must be James Hetfield’s mom or something because it wasn’t long before she called me saying she got me a ticket.

“Can you make it a +1?” I asked.

“Sure, no problem. Just hurry up.”

I turned to the gorgeous blond beside me.

“Hey, Catwoman. Wanna go see Metallica?”

God bless the bar.

A real life super hero rescuing a damsel from the distress of house music.

Comic Con is an extreme experience. There’s nothing else like it on earth. I can see why people come from all over the country and the world for just a few days of one of the most visceral displays of consumerism, materialism, and mayhem you can find anywhere. Hollywood, Madison Ave, and Silicon Valley may have expropriated the original dream of Comic Con, but it seems they have turned our young boy comic book fantasies into the closest thing to reality we could ever really get. I’ll definitely be there next year.


10 Things To Avoid Skin Cancer To:

Posted in hot times, partying, rock n' roll, sex on June 10, 2010 by oldmandub

I did this for a friend’s blog today. Check it out. She’s got other stuff that’s cool too. She avoided putting in a video I included so check that shit below.

Pleistocene Polka

Posted in partying, rock n' roll, rocking with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2009 by oldmandub

Here’s my third music blog. It is without theme unlike the last two. It’s just a collection of hot jams I’ve been listening to the last week or so. Some of it will be new, some will be classic. The rest will be shit. Just stream it “live” down below, or right click to download.

Pleistocene Polka

Highway Steamer

Posted in hot times, partying, rock n' roll, rocking with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 10, 2009 by oldmandub

The other day my friend Tiffany asked me to remind her how to be tough. I said, “pffft. Listen to Deep Purple’s ‘Highway Star’ and drive fast drinking whiskey.” Driving while drinking doesn’t always work out, but the sentiment is dead on. So for all those out there who feel like they need some toughening up I bring to you my newest set, Highway Steamer. It’s based off an earlier playlist I made for another friend who needed something hot to listen to while driving her Mustang. So this also goes out to everyone that likes to roll fast and hard.

Click below to stream it.

Highway Steamer

Track list is in the comments.

I just woke up from this dream that was really cool.

Posted in celebrities, death, dreams, partying, rocking with tags , , , , , on June 30, 2009 by oldmandub

Listen to this as you read:

Gustav Holst, Levine – Mars, The Bringer of War

It started in Japan with the waking of Godzilla by sacred incantation. Then the dream whisked away to Africa where a lion was captured to be brought back to America. Fast forward and I’m at some huge fancy hotel in downtown Los Angeles where each floor has a different design. I’m staying in room 555 with my dad and mom and I’m putting on a tuxedo for a Halloween party. It turns out that other members of my extended family are also staying on the same floor, which has a large library in the center that can be accessed from numerous angles and has a piano in it. Somehow my iPhone gets wet and starts acting up so I leave it in the room to go to the party. At this point Godzilla is now outside the hotel just walking about while everyone inside is unaware. Nonetheless there’s total bedlam outside and the military is setting up its positions to take out the Japanese menace. While that is going on, the lion escapes from his cage and begins his hunt for human meat throughout the hotel. The really cool thing about this dream is how cinematic it is. For example, the shot of me deciding to leave my iPhone in the room and leave for the party starts zoomed in on me crouching over my suitcase examining the phone and then my aunt says, “Andrew, let’s go” and i say, “fuck it” and drop the phone. The shot pulls out from above the door as i stand up and walk out, leaving a wide open view of room’s window to show Godzilla lumbering past. The music appropriately changed at that revealing moment. My dreams have soundtracks, do yours?

At this point I become David Bowie and I’m attending a high class celebrity infused crazy ass party that’s happening on what turns out to be the floor right below my floor. I’m David Bowie and I’m The Devil for Halloween (or, is this just an ironic joke on my part for I really am David Bowie – THE DEVIL, and am just dressing up as The Devil for my own amusement?). I go to the party and see Brad Pitt talking to some pretty girl and in their snappy banter he reveals that indeed, yes, Batman exists in my dream world and is somewhere in L.A.. At this point what appears to be a lion comes stalking into the party. Everyone hushes and the music stops. But as the shot reveals more of the lion we see that it is actually just Bill Murry in a lion costume. Everyone is excited and the music starts again and then FLASH! a bright lights goes off, wind is ripping through the room and we immediately cut back to regular Andrew somewhere on another floor, keenly aware that something is afoot in this hotel. I’m not sure what it is but soon more people are beginning to panic. I become separated from my people and decide I need to go back to get my possibly broken iPhone from room 555 so I can make contact with my father who is somewhere else in the hotel. I go to the 5th floor and it turns out all the “3” numbered rooms are on the 5th floor and I deduce that the “5”s must be on the 7th floor. I get on the elevator with this old couple who are elegantly dressed for some ball that is happening on some other floor and I accidentally hit the button for the 6th floor, where I know the celebrity party is and something terribly wrong is happening. The doors open and my suspicions are confirmed when I immediately panic to horrifying screams, flashing lights, and flying furniture. It’s quite clear that evil spirits have invaded the celebrity party and that people are dying. I immediately hit the button for the 7th floor and the doors close before any mayhem can make it’s way in with us.

On the 7th floor I fly out the doors trying to find room 555 to get my iPhone so I can find my dad. As I run pass one corner we see another Godzilla cinematic shot out the window. Now the army is set up and is using some massive lightning/laser gun against the beast and there’s smoldering buildings and whatnot outside. Andrew the Hero doesn’t notice, but Andrew the Dream Weaver does and is curious, why isn’t Godzilla attacking THIS building? Anyway, there’s no time to explore this question further because the party goers in the library are all terrified, hiding behind what they can because none other than the Lion himself has found his way to the 7th floor where there are plenty of humans cowering in fear. And Lions love the smell of fear. I’m running through trying to use the library as a short cut when some lady behind the piano points behind me and screams, “Here he comes!” The Lion and I lock eyes. He approaches slowly, his shoulders undulating up and down, confident that I pose no challenge. Little does the Lion know, I know Karate and he lunges at me. I land a punch right in his face and he flies to the ground, only to pick himself up with intense speed and lunge again, but I duck out of the way and book it for room 555, directly ahead of me.

This is pretty much where I wake up: Godzilla is fighting the US Army outside my hotel that’s been invaded by celebrity killing ghosts and a hungry lion that now has a personal beef with me, the Karate wielding and still iPhoneless protagonist, and somewhere in the building is Batman who is taking his sweet time getting the King of the Jungle off my back, and I may or may not be David Bowie – The Devil. Definitely, the coolest dream I’ve had in a long time.

Metal Mondays

Posted in partying, rocking with tags , , , , on June 25, 2009 by oldmandub

There’s this pretty cool bar here in Glassel Park, L.A. called Footsies. Besides having a comfortable outdoor smoking section where you can drink, a more than decent juke box, and hot bartenders, it also has this thing every Monday night called Metal Mondays where different DJs (usually members from local bands, sometimes of such note as ISIS) come and spin metal records. AND, as Wayne Campbell said, it’s “always a babe fest.” My friend and bandmate Eric Harris were axed to do it one night and we said, totes. Usually it’s just Pentagram’s “When The Scream Comes” or some semi lame Hardcore so we wanted to do some real metal, not just proto or lame. We decided to get some dark, scary shit, as well as the endlessly epic, mostly going for jams that just don’t get played on most Metal Mondays and that capture what makes metal such a dynamic and timeless genre of music. Here’s our mix in case some of you didn’t make it, (Thanks to our brothers in Holy Grail. I think you were the only ones that got to stick around!) available for download, and streaming right here if you’re just at work or drinking beers with buds. But I suggest DLing it and putting it on your iPhone to listen to while you drive or bike around.

The track list is in the comments. (Slightly edited for length).

Download: Famine And War

Listen: Famine and War

Still the best Aquateen clip.

Posted in partying, rock n' roll, rocking, sex with tags , , , , , on June 23, 2009 by oldmandub

Very clearly illustrates why I keep my hair long.